Scissors (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
I am in the rewriting/rereading stage of Heart of the Raven and have added some new scenes. Of course, whenever I do that bits get deleted. Most of the time it’s just a few sentences and I can work the good ones in after a fashion, but I had to cut a chunk between Micah and Katelina that just won’t fit anymore. However Micah is convinced that since he’s so clever (his words, not mine) that it’s worth sharing. We’ll see if you agree.
Micah spied Katelina suddenly and spun towards her. “Lunch! Where the fuck is that fruity prick?”
“I don’t know.”
He stormed towards her, shaking his fist. “You better not be protecting that son of a bitch after what he did to Loren!”
She was irritated enough and that did it. “Fuck you, Micah. The last time I saw him he was in Thadimus’ office trying to get his money back.”
Micah came to a stop and towered over her. “You knew he was here and didn’t fucking tell me?”
“Sorry, I had other things on my mind!”
“Maybe I should sign up to join the list of people you’re fucking so you’d remember!”
She punched him in the stomach and he flinched backwards in surprise. “I’m not fucking a list of people, you ass! And even if I was, you’d never be on it!”
He recovered with a snicker. “Of course not, Princess, I’ve got better taste.” He turned away and stormed towards the nearest building.
So now I have to ask: was Micah right? Was this cut scene worth the time it took me to post it? Or should it have just stayed in the dustbin?
And if you’re dying for more Heart of the Raven action, you can read the first unfinalized chapter via Vicki Hudson’s First Look as well as the first chapters of other WIPS!
Juli Hoffman
/ January 23, 2013Interesting bit, but without context…I don’t know. A little extreme if they’re just hanging out at Walmart,
but I could see this working if the rest of the chapter were dramatic.
Joleene Naylor
/ January 23, 2013LOL! well it is now
Sue
/ January 23, 2013I still have stuff for you but today major plumbing problem. If it’s not one thing it’s another
Here is the dish for K to eat Kushari
http://listverse.com/2011/10/28/top-10-delicious-and-unique-egyptian-foods/
I had it for lunch but not impressed
Micah spied Katelina suddenly and spun – spun suddently?
Why not leave it in?
Joleene Naylor
/ January 23, 2013TY! That looks like something poor K can look sad about
Well, in the rewrite Micah finds who he is looking for, so he doesn’t need to ask her,LOL!
Oh man! Plumbing?? and you just got home!!
Sue
/ January 23, 2013Been home bit over a week. Still tired. I have more stuff for you but not now – going to bed
Jen g
/ January 23, 2013Totally worth posting!!! Loved it!!!
Joleene Naylor
/ January 23, 2013Micah is appeased, LOL!
Roger
/ January 23, 2013Keep it. I blushed at all the rude words being English and prudy, but you should definitely leave it in.
Joleene Naylor
/ January 23, 2013Ha ha! he still get to use “fruity prick” but in the rewrite he finds the guy he’s looking for and byasses her.
Micah uses language that makes me cringe… I try to censor him and he swears more…
Roger
/ January 24, 2013You created a monster.
Joleene Naylor
/ January 25, 2013I suspect he created himself, which is even scarier!
Roger
/ January 25, 2013Well if he gets too rowdy, you can always threaten him with the big DELETE. That should temper his manners.
Sue
/ January 25, 2013You should know – one cannot threaten a character, they have all the control
Roger
/ January 26, 2013Yes, just like my wife.
Joleene Naylor
/ January 27, 2013Ha ha! She has you trained!
Roger
/ January 27, 2013She has permitted me to agree with you.
Joleene Naylor
/ January 27, 2013You should thank her for that
Roger
/ January 27, 2013She hates it when I fawn all over her.
Except when she wants me to.
dm yates
/ January 25, 2013I don’t know, Jo. I love all of the characters and their scenes. But I do love Micah’s comeback.
Joleene Naylor
/ January 25, 2013He’s really proud of it and sad he didn’t get to use it. i managed to sort of get the same general feel elsewhere but it lacks his “better taste” remark, LOL!
Ruth Ann Nordin
/ January 30, 2013Knowing he finds out without asking her, I say delete it. Just my two cents.
That hamster is addicting. I keep feeding it. hehe
Joleene Naylor
/ January 31, 2013Oh yeah, it’s gone. snip snip.
ha ha! I do the same thing!!