I want your opinion….

on my blurb. Yeah, I know, exciting stuff, huh?

Anyway, here it is:

With Kateesha dead, there’s no one to hunt Katelina and Jorick. That means it’s time to face the consequences – in both worlds.

When Katelina accepted her new life of night and vampires, she left behind a worried mother and an abandoned apartment. However, instead of wrapping things up, a trip home starts a chain reaction. First, they meet Verchiel, a strange vampire who seems too eager to befriend them. Then the police arrest Jorick for kidnapping. Even worse, the vampire’s government may want to question Katelina concerning Kateesha’s death.

And they do. Despite Jorick’s best efforts, he and Katelina go from being prisoners of one world to prisoners of another and must go before Malick, the oldest of the vampires and head of The Guild. Does Malick want to punish Katelina for killing Kateesha, or is he after something else? And why does Verchiel keep popping up? What is he up to, and why can’t Jorick read his mind?

In the third installment of the Amaranthine series, events are set into motion that could change both Jorick and Katelina’s lives, if not the world.

That’s the longer version for the back of the book. I’ll have to tighten it up into 80 words or so for other places.

If you’re an Indy author with your first book there’s a tip: always have different length blurbs – have your long one, one that’s around 100 – 80, and one that’s around 50 or so because different people and sites want different things. The more you have ready, the faster you can advertise. I learned the hard way with my first book.

Anyway, let me know what you think. Good? Bad? Too melodramatic? Not melodramatic enough?

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14 Comments

  1. I like the blurb. I might take out the “And they do.” I think it reads better without it. I’m excited for you. The wrap around cover looks great!

    Reply
  2. agree – kill” and they do” – leave that for the wedding (?) And what could a 4 book be about??
    There may be too many rhetorical questions here as well

    you’ve got 185 words here by the way

    Vampire’s govt or vampires’
    don’t like the word govt

    the guild (the body that regulates law over vampires and metes out punishment for vampire crimes)
    may need more explanation ? Or not.

    you may not wish to repeat The Guild

    Reply
    • LOL! Lots of stuff 😉 Book 5 is going to be interesting as well. I intend to write them until I lose interest 😉

      yeah, It’s shorter than Legacy’s back cover blurb, but it’s a good length, I think, for the long version.

      vampires’ – good catch!

      I dunno. I was torn on the explanation myself. On one hand it could stand to be explained but on the other that’s more words and it is a book 3 so logically most people reading the synops would have read the other books… hmmmm…

      Reply
  3. Amanda

     /  July 18, 2011

    I looks interesting

    Reply
  4. Amanda

     /  July 18, 2011

    *It looks interesting

    Reply
  5. I think it reads great. I do agree about taking out the line “And they do.” I would leave the Guild in there without explanation. If they haven’t read the other two books they shouldn’t be reading this one and that would prompt me to go look at previous books to see what the heck the Guild is lol 😉

    Reply
  6. Sounds great!! It would make me want to get a copy if I hadn’t already read it for free 😀

    Reply
  7. I think the long version is fine. The short version might be something like this:
    Going home at last. Only to get in trouble again. With the police AND the vampire’s government. Will Jorick and Katelina be able to get out of this new mess?
    (Yeah, I’m good at short short blurbs and summaries! :-D)
    Sorry I’m late to jump in, but I was busy reading your book! 😉

    Reply
  1. The first shot at the wraparound « Joleene Naylor's

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