Hello! My name is Katelina and I’m from Joleene Naylor’s Amaranthine series. Using state of the art-mumbo-jumbo-author magic, Jo has had me interview other authors’ characters but now I’m finally going to interview my fellow Amaranthian’s. Even better, the questions come from you, the readers! So let’s get this party started!
Today I am interviewing Verchiel, the bizarre red headed vampire.
Verchiel: Of course they do. I’m a mysterious kinda guy. People love that. All right, fire away!
K: Yeah. Anyway, the first question comes from Sharon S. She wants to know what you miss the most about your human life.
V: No idea. I’m afraid I don’t remember my human life.
K: I know you’ve said that before, but come on, you have to remember something!
V: Nope. My oldest memory is opening my eyes and seeing the lovely face of my creator hanging over me.
K: Lovely!?! Are you serious?!? How can you call Kateesha lovely!?
V: Ah, come on. She wasn’t bad looking. Okay, a little psychotic, maybe, but she did have a great rac-
K: You’re a freak. Moving on. Jonathan and Sharon both want to know if you use a lot of hair care products and, if so, what brands?
V: *pats hair* I used to use gel, but I’ve switched recently to MUK. The Raw styling Mud is some good stuff, and so is the filthy styling paste. It has a good hold and it doesn’t droop, and see? It doesn’t have that thick, flaky look to it, either. The downside is I have to order it online, so I have to wait for it to ship and claiming packages can be a pain in the ass at the citadel.
K: We don’t care that much. Speaking of the citadel, Bonnie wants to know why you want to be an executioner, when you don’t particularly seem to be hard hearted and cruel like the others?
V: What? My hard heartedness has been called into question?! Do I need to slaughter some children or something? Is that it? Have I been too soft?
K: answer the question.
V: Well, I don’t know that it was a career choice I aspired to. I kind of fell into it. You know how it goes. The pay is good, the perks are nice, and hey, I get snazzy jewelry and a free apartment. Plus, chicks really dig the long coat/uniform thing, you know.
K: DM asks, the way you hang around Katelina and tease her, aren’t you afraid of Jorick?
V: *pfffthhh* Afraid of Jorick? Noooooooo. Sure, he’s tough and grim and all of that, but come on. If it came to it I could totally dodge him.
K: Yeah, run away.
V: Hey, sometimes retreat is the best option.
K: Speaking of Jorick, it’s kind of weird that he’s not here.
V: *looks innocent* I wouldn’t know anything about that.
K: Barb said, “what are you REALLY up to, Verchiel? I know you’ll never answer this with the truth, but I thought I’d ask anyway!”
V: Ah, come on honey, do I really seem like an evasive kind of guy? Huh? I’ll tell you anything you wanna know! Anything!
K: Like what you’re really up to?
V: Well, all right. If you must know… *leans close*whispers* About 5’7”.
K: Ha ha. Julie asks, “Without leaving yourself too vulnerable, name one of your weaknesses, your Achilles heel.”
V: You mean besides my weakness for a pretty…erm…Face? Well, I also like fuzzy animals and children.
K: Sure you do. That’s why you offered to slaughter some a minute ago.
V: Ah, that was just a joke. I’ve made it a point never to feed off of anything cute or cuddly. Unless they ask me to, if you get my drift. Heh-heh.
K: You have a one track mind. Moving on, Sharon wants to know – Oh God. *covers eyes* She wants to know if you’re a boxer, tighty-whitey or commando vamp?
V: Well it depends on what the situation calls for, doesn’t it? You can’t really wear skin tight leather pants with boxers! Though they’re good for hanging out in the house in. I’m not really into the tighty-whities. They’re too plain. I have some very cool briefs, though. I found some terrible retro style ones online. Here, see, I’ve got the leopard print on now–
K: NO! I don’t want to see! For God’s sake, keep your clothes on!
V: What? You act like I’m randomly stripping. It’s pertinent to the conversation.
K: No, not really. We’re moving on now. Sue asks “while you are very powerful with almost super powers – do you not use all that you are capable of?”
V: *winks* Shhhhhhh. Most people haven’t noticed that. There’s a reason I don’t list all my abilities together in any one place. When people underestimate you, it’s easier to be impressive.
K: Sue also asked… Oh God.
V: What? Ooh! Is it better than the underwear question?
K: I’m not reading this.
V: *grabs the paper and reads aloud* “I think you are secretly in love with Katelina.” Ho-ho! You and Jorick both, huh?
K: Jorick doesn’t think that!
V: If you say so, sweetheart. *taps side of head* But ask yourself why he’s such a dick to me in book 4.
K: Because you have it coming.
V: Now, now, don’t want to give too much away, do we? *bats eyes*
K: Where IS Jorick? I can’t imagine him leaving me alone with you-
V: That’s because he’s jealous!
K: Of what? Of you? Ha! No he isn’t! He’s way more secure than that!
V: You’d think…Wait. I think I hear the sound of an approaching Jorick. With that I must declare this interview over.
K: What happened to not being afraid of him?
V: I did say that sometimes retreat is the best option. See you later, Kately! Tell old Jorick hi for me and- Oh. Hello there.
Jorick: *looks annoyed* What in the hell are you doing?
V: Getting interviewed, actually. I hear it’s your turn next week, what with you being the second most popular vampire and all that. But I have to run now. Ta ta!
K: Where were you?
J: *holds up rope* Oddly enough, our dear author left me tied to a chair. I believe the red headed idiot convinced her that he wouldn’t get a word in if I was here. *glares at Jo* If she thinks I’m going to cooperate next week she has another think coming!
K: Ah. And with that we’re closing down this interview! Join us next week when I interview Jorick!