Unedited Snippet Eight from Book Five

A ferry trip….

Okay, so it’s November and the book is not done. I lost a lot of time to unexpected house hunting and all the research that goes with an out of state move. However, due to some family issues, I think we’ll be putting any move on hold for awhile, so hopefully I can get this sucker finished!

In the meantime, please enjoy a random, unedited snippet from Heart of the Raven:

CONTAINS SPOILERS for Ashes of Deceit. If you haven’t read that book yet, then read at your own risk.

Dinner was buffet style, again, though it had more sea food. Not that she liked sea food. She piled her plate with rice and vegetables and steered clear of anything that had eyes. She didn’t like the idea of her dinner staring back.

A sightseeing couple joined them at their table and chatted. Katelina nodded politely and tried to carry a conversation, but she had nothing to say. She hadn’t seen any of the landmarks they mentioned, she didn’t have a particular itinerary for Japan, and she knew nothing about foreign travel.  She couldn’t even talk about her “normal” life, or introduce Kai. What excuse would a woman in her mid-twenties have for traveling with a teenage boy? And Kai was no help. He ate mutely, attention on his plate, as if no one else existed. Luckily, the couple didn’t seem to notice anything amiss, or if they did they were too polite to comment.

What happens on the ferry, stays on the ferry. Right.

They invited Katelina and Kai to the on board nightclub, but she declined politely by feigning exhaustion. The pair left with a cheerful, “Maybe we’ll see you tomorrow!” and Katelina heaved a sigh of relief.

As she trudged back to the cabin, she felt a certain melancholy. Incidents like dinner reminded her how removed she was from real life. The sightseers’ trip to Russia involved trains, cameras, sunlight, market places and famous monuments. Hers had been a flying walk in the dark, a hotel, a seedy house to get fake papers, and an evening commuter train, all while waiting for Malick or his henchmen to appear and kill them, or for The Guild to send someone to intercept them and send them back to the U.S.

Fun, fun.


Leave a comment


  1. WOW! They’re heading to Japan? COOL!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. Elegant writing. Very nice.

  3. amy owen

     /  November 16, 2012

    Bring it, baby!!! Waiting with baited breath!!!!

  4. I love how you keep saying unedited. My unedited has no description many to be verbs and lots of thats. Well you are correct, it’s not that people are too polite, they really don’t notice anything that doesn’t concern them directly. As a writer I count on that inattention so that my characters are not made to feel uneasy. Hey Katelina made her choice, so she gets death threats and not guided tours. It’s like my characters whining cause they can’t have kids

    • it’s unedited because I bet it has typos and probably other stuff that will get cut – useless words, saying the same thing twice… *sigh*

      This is very true. People rarely see anything amiss because they don’t want to 😉

  5. sunshineskye

     /  November 16, 2012

    Its very good – you’re building great tension and atmosphere

  6. They better watch them buffets maybe spend a little more time at the salad bar.

  1. Unedited Snippet Nine from Book Five « Amaranthine Night
  2. Unedited Snippet Ten from Book Five « Amaranthine Night
  3. Unedited Snippet Eleven from Book Five « Amaranthine Night

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