Photo by Joel Bedford used under CC license
Happy Friday! Why is it happy? It’s the end of the work week and it’s also time for #FirstLineFriday! On Friday, authors post the first one or first two lines of a potential work, a work-in-progress, or a published work on their blog, titling the post #FirstLineFriday (like just this). It’s a lot of fun, so feel free to join in!
Today’s first line comes from Beldren, a Tales of the Executioners short story that I may end up putting in the anthology instead of the other one I had planned. I just can’t stand the idea of having no vampires at all.
“It is time to take what we are owed,” Matthias cried, and slammed his fist on the rough table.
Of course, Marjorie and Gordon (who still need a title) will still get to go in, so it’s just the old stories I am putting back on the shelf. That is if I can get this done in time.
So, is this first line better than my last one? Do you like a story that jumps into the action, or has some set up first?
Amaranthine by Joleene Naylor 
lccooper
/ August 21, 2015Now, if slamming his fist shattered the table, then the action says something about the characters anger or strength. Just a thought. I prefer to jump into the action, but temperate so that it’s not immediately in the readers face. This intro sentence, to me, is better than the last one.
A minor distraction for me was the word “Rough” because the focus of the sentence is on the character slamming his fist down onto the table. Probably being picky, but doesn’t make sense to describe the table in this context? now, if slamming his fist shattered the table, then the action says something about the characters anger or strength. Just a thought.
Tricia Drammeh
/ August 21, 2015This definitely makes me want to read the story. Of course, I always look forward to reading anything you write.
Joleene Naylor
/ August 21, 2015Thanks 🙂