You Asked For It…

okay, one person did, but hey, it’s too funny to ignore:

"Not a word, mortal... not one word..."


Lost Chapters 1: Sparkling Jorick

why should DVDs get all the fun? now presenting the deleted scenes* from Legacy of Ghosts! In other words, The Lost Chapters. – click the link for more info.

More info

Of course, since these are little snips, you don’t need to have read Legacy of Ghosts to enjoy them.

(Insert this randomly into Chapter Three between the walk and the stitches)

Katelina lay on the living room couch and stared at the book in her hands. It was another 1800’s era “classic” and, though she  liked old books, she wanted something newer. Maybe something that didn’t have the women in bustles.

The door opened and her eyes flicked from the printed words to Jorick, who strolled into the living room casually. He started for the dining room, but when he noticed her scrutiny he changed directions and came to stop next to the couch. “Hello.”

She gave him a cursory smile, then asked, “Don’t you have any books that were published after 1901?”

His brow wrinkled. “What?”

“Books,” she repeated. “Published after 1901? Maybe something from the last fifty years?”

“Of course I do,” he responded testily. “You just have to look for them.”

“That could take the rest of my life,” she muttered darkly. “It isn’t like you have anything organized around here!”

If his expression was anything to go on, the idea was a completely foreign one to Jorick. “And how should it be organized, pray tell?”

“The books could go in a book case. That would be a good start.”

He blinked at her, and then waved the conversation away. “You just have to look for them,” he repeated. “I’ve got a lot of books around here-“

“I’ve noticed.”

He ignored the interruption. “-And there’s surely something you approve of.”

Loren chose that moment to arrive, noisily banging the door open and closed. Alost tauntingly, the boys arms were laden with even more freaking books!

“You’re bringing yours over here now?” she cried. “There’s enough!”

Loren dropped the stack into one of the wing backed chairs and straightened his hoodie. “Nah, these are Jorick’s. Just bringing them back.”

Katelina couldn’t stop the annoyed eye roll. “Fantastic. Just what we need. More books.”

“There’s some good ones in here,” Loren objected. He paused to rifle through the heap and one fell to the floor with a bang. Loren left it lay, oblivious to the dark look Jorick shot at him. He seemed to suddenly find what he wanted. “Here, this one’s good.” He held up a battered paperback of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

“It’s strange,” Jorick countered, and scooped up the fallen book.

“It’s supposed to be!” Loren explained, waving the book for emphasis. “It’s funny.”

Katelina climbed to her feet and moved to examine the books. Most had unfamiliar, albeit modern covers, all except one; a black cover with a bright red apple.

“You’re joking!” she cried and hefted the heavy book. “You own this?”

Jorick peered disinterestedly over her shoulder. “Oh, that. Yes, I suppose I do.”

“Oh my God! You’ve read this? Seriously?”

“Yes, I read it. I’ve read a great deal worse, though I’ve also read a great deal better.”

“No shit!” Katelina suddenly imagined him sitting in the chair pouring over the teenage romance, a kleenex clutched in his hand. The image was too much to take and her laughter got the better of her so that she dropped onto the couch, the book clutched in her hands.

“I’m not sure what’s so funny,” Jorick remarked stiffly. “It’s a book, like any other.”

“Yeah, if you’re a twelve year old girl!”

“Hey!” Loren objected. “I read it too, you know!”

Katelina waved the objection away, and managed to choke out, “So, team Edward or Jacob?”

Jorick drew back a step, as though she’d lost her mind. “What?”

“Jacob.” Loren leaned on the back of the chair, settling in for the conversation. “That shit in the second book where he takes off and leaves her, I just can’t condone that, you know? He just leaves her there to get whacked by those other guys.” He grinned broadly. “Besides, the whole glitter thing is too gay, you know?” He jerked his head towards Jorick. “Can you imagine him glittering?”

“No,” Jorick stated flatly and snatched the book from Katelina’s hands. “She can’t.”

“Actually,” Katelina began, her grin large and evil. “I think it’s an interesting picture. Jorick in sparkles.” She held up her hands as if framing a photograph. “What do you think, Loren? Wouldn’t he be lovely?”

Loren laughed until Jorick smacked him in the back of the head. “Aw, come on man, lighten up! This is a literary discussion here!”

“It’s an imbecilic discussion,” Jorick replied. He looked at the book in his hands, then held it out to Katelina. “Here.  You were so desperate for something modern.”

Her laughter died and she cleared her throat noisily. “Well, yes, but…”

Jorick raised an inquiring eyebrow. “But?”

She shifted uncomfortably, her eyes on the floor. “But, well.” Her voice got quiet and she admitted reluctantly, “I’ve already read it.”

Jorick’s expression was one of satisfied smugness.

*However, unlike deleted scenes, these were actually written later, for fun, so I could pull off the whole “Lost Chapters” gag. None of the Lost Chapters were ever in the original manuscript, nor were they ever deleted. Thank you for reading the small print.

Vampire Parodies

While checking out some links sent to be by Jonathan, aka Jissilly, I ran across these two Vampire/Twilight parodies by Key of Awesome and thought they were amusing enough to share.  No matter what your opinion is of the Twilight franchise, you should still get a chuckle out of them.


Where’s the Trailer, Naylor?

If I have my way, Legacy of Ghosts will be out the first week of october, which means roughly three weeks from now.

Yeah, three weeks.

That leads one to the question: where the heck is your book trailer?

Answer: I don’t have one yet because I don’t have any ideas. Sure, I could just do the stereotypical “In a world of darkness, Katelina and Jorick must struggle against..blah, blah, blah.” set to a slideshow of some nice blood splatters and night shots, but eh. It just doesn’t inspire me.  Especially not after the trailer to Shades of Gray, which I thought was pretty cool (despite my not knowing how to do anything):

Soooo…. anyone have an idea? I could use one.  If you feel creative, the info for the book can all be read here.  That might help.  If you’re not feeling creative, then welcome to the club.

On the whole, I’m going to be missing for the next week, as it is time to knuckle down and do my final typo checking and start the horrid formatting process so I can get things uploaded and get my first proof ordered.  So, in case I don’t see you, have a great week!

Do Chupacabras Glitter?

So what is a chupacabra? The chupacabra is a legendary creature, most notably in Mexico, Texas, and other southern regions, that is said to suck the blood from goats. In fact the name chupacabra means “goat sucker”. Pretty fun, huh?

Because this legendary animal is said to suck blood, it is often thrown in with vampires. In fact, one article from yahoo states that a person should “Think of them as a less sexy version of “Twilight”‘s infamous vampire Edward Cullen.” (I’m not going to comment on the fact that “vampire” is synonymous with “Edward Cullen”.)

Recently, there’s been yet another reported sighting of the animal in Hood county Texas. In fact, animal control shot what looks like a very ugly hairless dog. I have a video of it from NBC:

Of course, it should be easy for authorities to tell if it’s a vampire or not.  Does it glitter in the sunlight?

(hee-hee, you knew it was coming!)

On second thought, if it doesn’t glitter, maybe it is a real vampire after all.

  • Tales of the Executioners

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    Joleene Naylor

    An independent author, freelance artist, and photographer for fun who loves anime, music, and writing. Check out my vampire series Amaranthine at or drop me a line at

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