Casting Call by Jonathan Harvey

Ha ha! I was doing some random google searches the other night and I ran into this old post by Jonathan Harvey that I wanted to share. Yeah, I am just going to steal it (images and all) and post it here because Jonathan is so cool he won’t care. You can see his original on his now abandoned MySpace though, and if you want to catch up with him he has a blog he occasionally posts in, a book he’s published called Shades of Plaid, and he writes the Terrible Turtle Conspiracy web comic.

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If you are looking for a book featuring Commando Cows of the Undead that fly around drinking blood from the udders of farm cows while dispatching bulls using submachine guns with extreme prejudice, then Shades of Gray by Joleene Naylor is definitely the wrong book. Shades of Gray is a delightfully gruesome paranormal romance that takes place during the dreaded war between vampire covens. The story’s heroine, Katelina, finds herself inexplicably caught up in a world of vampires. Not only does the poor woman have to grapple with the knowledge that vampires are real and that they want to kill her, but she also has to come to terms that the one who is sworn to protect her is a vampire himself.

Shades of Gray grabs the reader’s attention and keeps it throughout the course of the book. The story is well paced and well written. I was particularly fond of the villainy in the book. The characters were well developed. The book had a good balance of action and romance and the gore was at acceptable levels for a book of it type. I greatly enjoyed reading Shades of Gray and I am looking forward to reading the next book of the Amaranthine Series.

Now for the fun stuff! If they were to make a movie of Shades of Gray, who should be in it?

Jorick : The handsome vampire hero who protects Katelina! I’m thinking a dark haired Legolas, Orlando Bloom (Pirates of the Caribbean, The Lord of the Rings) should play Jorick.

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Katelina:  The main character of the story.  In the book the vamps are constantly putting her down for being plain.  This is a movie, so she should at least be pretty.  She should be pretty, but not overly sexy.  I chose Elisabeth Röhm (Heroes, Angel) she’s pretty not too young and she knows her way around science fiction.

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Oren is a friend of Jorick who loses most of his family during the Coven Wars.  He sticks with Jorick through the end.  He is the blond vampire.  For him I think we should cast Brad Pitt (Mr. & Mrs. Smith, An Interview with a Vampire).  He’s played a vampire before.  He was okay, I think he would make a decent Oren.

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Torina is Oren’s Sister.  She’s the sexy, red headed, femme fatale type.  I was thinking it would be cool to see Nikki Cox (Unhappily Ever After, Nikki) play this vamp.

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Jesslynn is the wife of Oren.  She is a proud dark haired and dangerous vampire coven queen.  I chose Angelina Jolie (Wanted, Tomb Raider) for this part.  She has the look and she works well with Brad Pitt.

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Kateesha is a treacherous and villainous vampire temptress whose alliances are questionable.  I  chose Aaliyah (Queen of the Damned, Romeo Must Die).  I know it’s type casting, but she was so darned awesome in Queen of the Damned.

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Patrick was Katelina’s old lover.  He’s killed off before the story ever really gets started.  Still, there are enough flashbacks of him that I thought why not cast him.  I’m thinking, why not James Marsters (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Smallville)

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Arowenia  is Claudius’s plaything.  She gets kidnapped.  She gets killed.  She is the catalyst to all this vampire unpleasantness.  Like Patrick she really has a small role.  So why not cast Leslie Bibb (Iron Man, Popular).  She’s young, pretty, and blonde.  What more do we need?

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 Claudius is the big bad of the book.  He’s the guy that has who is so upset about poor Arowenia being kidnapped that heads are going to roll.  Cast for this role is Gerard Butler (300, Law Abiding Citizen).  Because “This is Sparta!” just kidding.  It’s madness.

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Well there you have it.  Shades of Gray is all cast.  This might not make you want to read the book.  But heck, I think I’ll be first in line to see the movie.

 What do you think of Jonathan’s choices? Who would you pick to play the characters? And do you think I should take his advice and add undead cows (LOL!)?
 

Guest Stars!

Happy April Fool’s Day!

Though I don’t usually like to mix my project blogs, today the lines are blurred when Jorick and Katelina guest star in the special April Fool’s page of the Terrible Turtle Conspiracy

What is the TTTC? It’s a webcomic written by Jonathan Harvey and illustrated by me. we add a page every week, so be on the lookout. Why not visit http://TerribleTurtles.com and subscribe?

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Click the little image above for the full sized turtley fun!

Six Sentence Sunday

It’s time for six sentence sunday, the weekly blog where participants post six sentences of something they’ve written. It’s a great way to discover new writers, so be sure to stop by the blog and check out the other participants!

Today’s six come from Ties of Blood, which is finally finished (yay!) and shipped off to the editor and the beta people. I thought I’d find a Jorick snippet for Sharon – who by the way is guest posting over at Love Romance Passion, so if you’re inclined stop and show her some love!  🙂

(working cover)

(This is after they’ve come back from seeing Malick. Initially they have a fight with Oren, and then some alone time where he finally asks her if she is all right.)

Jorick drew a deep, frustrated breath. “I’m sorry, I should have asked that first,  I just…” he broke off and cleared his throat. “I’m not used to feeling helpless, anymore.”

“It’s all right, I understand.”

“It’s not much of an excuse,” he muttered. “But what’s done is done.” He rolled over to face her and cradled her cheek in the palm of his hand.

Thanks for stopping by and be sure to check out the other participants.

In an Alternate Universe (Part 3)

I’ve been trying to keep my various projects separate, but I with the new Terrible Turtle Conspiracy  website up and running at  http://TerribleTurtles.com I thought, “What the heck!”

If you don;t know, The Terrible Turtle Conspiracy is a strange webcomic written by Jonathan Harvey – aka Jissilly – and illustrated by me.

To celebrate the new webpage, I’m posting a three part blog set  that crashes my characters into the Terrible Turtle Universe.  This, thelast of the three,  was written by myself in response to Legacy of Stalking (posted here as Alternate Universe 2).

(read Alternate Universe 1~~~~ read Alternate Universe 2 )

Enough is E-NUFF

Katelina watched through the window, waiting for Jorick to return. The back of her neck had been prickling ever since he’d left, and she hoped he hurried up. He and Loren were just running down to boy’s house and back, or so they’d said. But, they’d already been gone several minutes, and she was certain there was someone out there, the sound of their footsteps lost in the wind. Maybe she was just getting paranoid.

She moved to the couch and dropped onto it restlessly, but she was barely seated before the door opened and Loren strode into the room, conspicuously alone.

“Where’s Jorick?” she demanded. It wasn’t that Loren wasn’t all right, as vampires went, but he wasn’t the kind of guy she thought could do much about whoever was lurking out there. In fact, she was pretty sure a marshmallow could defeat the teen vampire.

“Taking care of something,” Loren answered with a smirk.

She wanted to press him for details, but Jorick chose that moment to appear, dragging behind him a scraggly vampire who looked oddly familiar… Oh no! It was that horrible Willie who’d kidnapped her last year and used her in an insidious plot to try to defeat Axe, the scourge of the undead! She well remembered being forced into a slinky black dress, covered in corn syrup blood and tied to a chair. But wait! Jorick tied him up and lit the barn on fire himself! Willie should have been roasted like a hot dog on a stick.

Mmm. Hot dog. That would sure taste better than that lousy microwave cherry crumble she’d had for dinner!

She jerked herself back to the present situation and demanded loudly, “What’s he doing here?”

Jorick dumped the bloody nosed vampire in the middle of the floor. “That’s what I’d like to know.” He studied Willie for a moment, as if reading him, and then his eyes narrowed dangerously. “I don’t even think so!”

Katelina waited, but no explanation came. In fact, to make things weirder, Jorick stormed into the dining room and returned with the yellow tablet and an ink pen. She hoped for a moment that he might stab Willie with it, but instead he sat in one of the wing backed chairs and began angrily scribbling something on the paper.

Everyone stared at him incredulously, but it was Willie who broke the silence, his voice thick through his broken nose, “Bat are you ‘oing?”

“I’m writing a letter,” Jorick answered savagely, his dark eyes fire as they skipped from the note to his captive. “To NUFF.”

Loren leaned on the back of the chair, casually trying to read what Jorick had written. “You mean the National Union of Fictional Folks?  What are you writing to them for?”

“Because I’ve had it,” Joricke snapped.  “I didn’t say a word when I had to appear in a fan fiction story with Axe the scourge of the Undead, or Biffy the vampire slayer, even though we were forced to talk in rhyme! It was my good deed for the century because that Jonathan Harvey is a nice guy. But was that enough? No! Now that author of ours is writing us into ‘Lost Chapters!’! I mean, what is that even supposed to be?”

“It’s like the deleted scenes on a DVD,” Katelina explained with an eye roll. “Maybe if you’d catch up with the twenty-first century?”

Jorick waved her away and continued, “If that wasn’t bad enough did you see what she did last week? Did you? She made me sparkle! SPARKLE!” (yes, yes I did)

Loren squinted at the paper, still struggling to decipher it. “I dunno.  I thought it was kinda fun.”

Jorick growled low in his throat. “I told her one more move like that and I was out of here. And this – This – is the final straw!  You know, she used to be a really good writer. She used to do doom and depression and dark, angry gore and now… Now look at this! I have a vampire named Willie in my living room! And he was planning to kidnap Katelina, no less, and haul her off for excitement and adventure! Bah! I would do anything for some good, old fashioned gloom!”

Willie did his best to manage a charming smile, and Katelina cringed away. “Kidnap me?”

Loren shrugged. “It’s not really our author’s fault. She didn’t write what’s-his-name in. She’s been hanging out with that Jissilly guy. I think he’s secretly hypnotizing her in emails to write silliness.” He broke off and then exclaimed, “Man, your handwriting is awful! Is that even English?”

“Yes, it is. And furthermore, it is a letter of resignation. I am informing NUFF that we’re leaving and they can just find someone else to replace us. I refuse to put up with anymore of-“

A knock at the door interrupted him. They all froze and stared at the door as if it was some kind of portal to another dimension. After all, they didn’t get visitors very often, and now they had two in the same night.

“If that’s Axe or Biffy I swear I am going to demand severance pay!”

But it wasn’t Axe or Biffy. Instead it was a short, mustached representative from NUFF. They let him in and he peered at the assembled group from behind his wire rimmed glasses. He cleared his throat, then announced, “We at NUFF are aware of your reactions. However, rest assured that all of this was cleared with headquarters days ago, and that, unfortunately, there’s nothing you can do without breaking your contracts. And, I assure you, you don’t want to do that.”  His mustache wiggled thoughtfully and he added, “Have a nice night.”

He was almost to the door when three vampires made eye contact.

It took Katelina a week to get the spot out of the rug.

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Hope you enjoyed our foray into silliness!

In an Alternate Universe (Part 2)

I’ve been trying to keep my various projects separate, but I have news cool enough to make it worth crossing over: the new Terrible Turtle Conspiracy  website is up at http://TerribleTurtles.com

The Terrible Turtle Conspiracy is a strange webcomic written by Jonathan Harvey – aka Jissilly – and illustrated by me.

To celebrate the new webpage, I’m posting a three part blog set  that crashes my characters into the Terrible Turtle Universe.  This, the second of the three,  was written a couple weeks ago by Jonathan Harvey- aka Jissilly.  I vaguely asked him if I could post it here. He’s cool like that.

(read Alternate Universe 1)

Legacy of Stalking

She’s coming out today!  I can feel it.  I’m so excited.  I am beside myself, which is weird.  I usually can’t even stand to be around me and here I was beside myself and here I was enjoying my own company like nobody’s business.  I have figured out their pattern.  Right now he’s saying, “Katelina! Me and my stupid little sidekick are going out to do vampire stuff, blah, blah, blah.  You need to stay here and read these out of date books and eat the boring frozen dinner I got you.”

Then she’s saying something like, “Oh, Jorick.  I can’t stomach another awful frozen dinner.  The cherry cobbler looks and tastes like monkey brains. Normal people just don’t eat this kind of crap.  I know you are doing terrible dangerous stuff and drinking blood and the whole thing makes me wanna puke, but please can I go with you.  You can’t leave me locked up here. Wa! Wa! Wa!”

Then he replies with a “blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!” I know that’s a lot of “blah” but Jorick is a “blah” kind of vampire.  He’s got the personality of a piece of wood.  After all the “Blah” he’ll tell Katelina that she needs to stay inside because it’s “too dangerous”.  Little will Mr. “Tall and Dark Moron” realize how right he is.

He and his little sidekick will leave to do whatever it is they do and then Katelina will not listen to him. She’ll feel the uncontrollable urge to go outside that crummy little beach house they live in.  That’s when I will make her life better.  I’m going to kidnap her from this life and have her stay with me!

I wonder if she remembers me.  I wonder if she remembers the time, when I Willie Osborn, kidnapped her on my brilliant attempt to use her and Jorick to throw the Scourge off my back. Now those were good times.  I would do anything for the opportunity to relive those days. Jorick, The Scourge, and Biffy the Vampire Killer had all fallen prey to my grand master plan.  You know?  For the life of me I can’t remember what went wrong.  All I remember is that I kidnapped Katelina, tied her up, and dressed her like a vampire.  Little did she know that all her crying and whining would melt my cold unbeating heart.  I just have to have her for my own.  I need to have Katelina for myself.

There goes Jorick and his little boy vampire now. Everything is going exactly as planned.  It’s only a matter of time before Katelina decides to go wandering.  That’s when I pounce!  I so love the word pounce.  Pouncing is what predators do.  That’s what I am.  I am a predator.  I am a vampire that likes to make a ruckus and I don’t care who sees.  No one can stop me and the destruction I leave in my wake.  The Scourge can’t stop me.  Biffy can’t stop me.  Jorick sure can’t stop me.  And don’t even get me started on the Vampire Guild.

Too late!  I have gotten started. Who gave that sanctimonious bunch of losers the right to think they can govern vampirism?  I am still baffled by that name.  Do they really expect to strike fear in the hearts of monsters with a name like that?  “Oh my!  It’s the Vampire Guild!  I’m so scared!”  Please!  Their name makes them sound like they belong in the Wizard of Um.  “We represent the Vampire Guild.  The Vampire Guild!  The Vampire Guild!  And, In the name of the Vampire Guiiiiiild!  We’d love to torture you and bite your neck.”  Man, the Wizard of Um would have been so much better if I wrote it.

Oh man!  She didn’t leave the house yet did she? That would be just my luck to go on rambling about the Vampire Guild only to discover that my opportunity to pounce on Katelina was lost in the wind. Wait.  I see her shadow moving about on the curtains.  Heh, heh, she’s probably going to make sure that Jorick is good and gone before she sneaks out to get into mischief.  Too bad Katelina, it looks like this time mischief is going to get on you.

Yawn.  It sure is taking a long time for her to make her move.  Once I’m done kidnapping her, I am going to give her a serious scolding about wasting my time. It’s not like Jorick picks interesting places to hide out.  The guy is the king of boring.  He’s cheap too.  I know the guy’s got a big enough stash to afford a nice penthouse or something.  Why can’t he hide out someplace cool?

You know?  Maybe I should just go knock on the door.  I bet I could sweep Katelina off her feet.  What does she see in the king of boring anyway?  I’ve been watching them for some time.  He’s not even all that nice to her.  I think she should trade up for the Alpha Vamp.  I’ll show her the adventure she secretly longs for.  Heck, she thinks her life is in constant peril now.  Just wait until she spends an evening with me. I think more people want to destroy me than those sparkly emo vamps in those books for teenagers.  Trust me.  Everyone wants to destroy those guys.

Once I kidnap Katelina, Jorick is going to be so ticked.  He’s going to be all.  “Where is my Katelina?  I was spending so much time with silly teenage vampire friend that I left her vulnerable. Now who will whine to me about my vampire ways.  Oh boo hoo hoo.  I am such a loser.  I am such a moron.  I think I’ll go and condition my long dark hair.  I’m such an idiot that I…”

*Snap*

Was that a twig?  Oh crap.  He’s right behind me, isn’t he?

“Hey Jorick.  It’s me!  You know, I’m your good buddy, Willie, from way back. Yeah, I was just keeping a watch on the beach house for you.  No need to thank me…  Oh.  I see your going to start with the violence and the hurting again.  You are so predictable my frein…. Owwww!  I fink you boke my nose!”

Read his original post here

In an Alternate Universe (Part 1)

I’ve been trying to keep my various projects separate, but I have news cool enough to make it worth crossing over: the new Terrible Turtle Conspiracy  website is up at http://TerribleTurtles.com

The Terrible Turtle Conspiracy is a strange webcomic written by Jonathan Harvey – aka Jissilly – and illustrated by me.

To celebrate the new webpage, I will be posting a three part blog set  that crashes my characters into the Terrible Turtle Universe.  This, the first of the three,  was written last year by Jonathan Harvey- aka Jissilly –  for the Shades of Gray contest.  I vaguely asked him if I could post it here. He’s cool like that.

(Notation from Jonathan)  [this story] stars a vampire named Willy.  Way back in my Navy days I played a role playing game called “Vampire: The Masquerade”.    Willy was my character for that game.  He was a successful character because I used a lot of humor and imagination when I played him, but he became so dark that I started freaking people out.  I gave up the game, but there will always be a Willy inside, just waiting for a story opportunity.


The Price of Fame


By Jonathan Harvey, 2009

This was going to be hard because I knew in the end, that there was simply no way he would wind up my friend.  Jorick was a monster, but not quite like me.  I’m glad that I’m evil.  It’s for all to see.  My name is Willy, and I’m out there man!  I don’t even take time to make up a real plan.  I just fly by my pants and I do what I please.  I could really care less if somebody sees.  Most vampires, like Jorick, will hide who they are, lest some vampire hunter will come from afar.  Well, that’s what was happening and I was to blame.  I put on a show and I went for the fame.  I flaunt who I am.  I just really don’t care.  Sure, I might be insane, but I’m insane with flair.  My need for attention keeps me on the run.  It’s monsters like me that the vampires shun.

So, I had to tell Jorick, just to give him a chance.  If he needed to run, well, he’d know in advance.  The Axe man was coming.  He would soon be in town, and at vampire hunting, this guy took the crown.  He was fast.  He was mean.  He was strong as ox.  He was hunting me down.  You know?  That kind of rocks!  It means I hit the big time.  I’m in the “Who’s Who”.  I should soon have a book and a movie deal too.  The story of Willy!  Wow!  That rings a bell.  I could be the next Drac!  Things might go that well.

But now, Jorick’s attention, getting that was my goal.  So I captured his girl and tied her to a pole.  It was a nice little barn in an out of the way farm.  Not too many around but a farmer to harm. The girl tied up nicely.  She would make good bait.  I just needed the setting, and then I would wait.  I was not going to hurt her, just taste her a little and cover her neck with my vampire spittle.  I took me some time and I fixed her up right. I dressed her in black with a dress that’s too tight.   I styled up her hair, and so that she would look nice, I made her fake vampire fangs out of rice.  I got some corn syrup and a little red dye, and then I made some fake blood.  It’s so good I could cry.  Then I covered her in it.  I covered the floor.  I made funny splatters all over the door.  It looked really great.  You could tell it was fake, just a little vamp fun I was trying to make.

But then, Jorick arrived, and he was mad as a hen.  I said, “Just calm right down, now breath deep, count to ten.  She has not been harmed.  It is quite plane to see.  I only did this so you’d listen to me.”

But then he started punching.  Then, he punched me some more.  He got me right in the face, and I fell to the floor.  I tried to stay down, but it just wouldn’t work.  I was beginning to think that Jorick was a jerk.

I said, “Don’t hit my teeth.  Won’t you watch how you punch?  If you knock out my fangs, how am I to eat lunch?  Will you please stop and hear me?  What am I to do?  If you tied up my girl, I wouldn’t do this to you!”

Jorick wouldn’t listen.  Don’t believe all the hype.  When it comes to vampires, he’s the mean angry type.  He has no sense of humor.  I was joking around.  He kept picking me up and throwing me to the ground.  Things were getting dangerous.  This fight had to stop. So, I sprayed him with mace that I stole from a cop.  Then I picked up a shovel and hit him one time.  Then, I gave him a wedgie.  Now, is that such a crime?

Jorick was rubbing his eyes and cursing my name.  It made me feel good.  He had heard of my fame.  While he caught his breath and got ready to fight, I said, “I did this for you and it does not seem right, that you should be violent because of these pranks.  I’ve got important new.  You know, you should say, ‘thanks’.”

It was quite plain to see, Jorick didn’t agree.  He would not calm down.  He was charging at me.  He was wanting round two.  This was really no fun.  There was nothing to do.  I decided to run.  I ran like the wind, like a stallion on speed.  I ran like a cat that is ready to feed.  I didn’t get far.  He tackled me to the ground.  Once more it’s my face he decided to pound.

“Hey, could you just stop.  I have not harmed the girl.  This fighting is old.  Let’s give talking a whirl.”  Perhaps he got tired, but he stopped with the hitting.  He got off my chest, and soon we were both sitting.

Jorick gave me a snarl and asked, “Why are you here?”  I mean, what’s with the snarl. Should it fill me with fear?  These vampires today, they just bully and yell.  They throw big hissy fits each time things don’t go well.

“I hate to tell you, but I’m here on the run.  I’m just passing through, and I’m under the gun.  The Scourge is pursuing.  He’s real mad at me.  I guess he caught wind of my last killing spree.  I’ve tried hard to shake him, but that guy just won’t shake.  I don’t think he’ll stop until my heart meets his stake”

Jorick then shook his head, “Why’d you bring him here.  You need to leave now.  Have I made myself clear?”

Why did I come with the Scourge on my heels?  I needed a distraction and perhaps a few meals.  I secretly hoped that Scourge would come see my newest friend Jorick and forget about me.  I couldn’t say that.  I knew it would not go well.  My mind started searching for a good lie to tell. “This thing with the Scourge, it is going all wrong.  My days, they are numbered.  It should not be long.  I was hoping you’d help me and that we could be friends.  Sure, I behaved badly.  Please let me make amends.”

“Well, I can’t be running, and neither should you.  Perhaps, we’ll join forces and see this thing through.”  Jorick’s mind was now racing.  He’s not a bad guy.  To know I’d betray him almost made me cry.

“A joining of forces, yes that would be best.  We can take on the Scourge, put our might to the test.”  Put our might to the test?  Just what was I saying?  That Scourge was too good at his vampire slaying.  Yes, Jorick was tough.  He could sure beat me up.  When it came to the Scourge, he was just a scared pup.  We needed much more than just taking a stand.  It was time to be sneaky. We needed a plan.  We could both fake our deaths, or else he could fake mine.  He might not come to town and then things would be fine.

I stood there thinking, searching for an out.  Jorick turned to the girl, that’s what he’s all about.  Suddenly from behind, I heard a loud crash.  Was the Scourge here already?  He is like a bad rash.  It wasn’t the scourge but some red headed chick.  By the way that she moved, I was going to be sick.

“I am Biffy!” she said.  “It is my lucky day.  I was hoping to kill me a vampire today.”

I am not proud off this.  I’m a fiend and a liar.  I screamed, “Jorick!  You monster!  You nasty vampire!  Biffy is here to save us at last!  Go get him Biffy.  You had better move fast.”

Biffy saw the rope and she saw the fake blood.  She saw I was beaten and covered in mud.  She saw the young girl still tied up in the chair.  This was mostly my fault, but then, what did I care?  She jumped to attack him.  I snuck out the door.  I was feeling quite guilty, right down to the core.  Not so guilty of course, that I was getting involved.  With this Biffy battle, my problems were solved.  The Scourge needs a vampire and Biffy kills one.  When the Scourge does show up, he will think that he’s done.

I was ready to bolt, but then he caught my eye.  The Scourge had arrived.  I’m not ready to die.  Why is nothing easy?  Things don’t go my way.  Or, maybe they do, it’s a sly game I play.  The Scourge was approaching.  I let out a cry, “That vampires tied up my girlfriend! Why?  Why?”

The Scourge rushed in the barn and he joined in the fray.  Perhaps this was going to be my lucky day.  I ran to my car and grabbed my gas can.  I would burn up the barn.  What a marvelous plan.  No Scourge, no Biffy, and no Jorick to fight!  With them all burned up, I’d be famous alright.  I poured gas round the barn.  This was going to be fun.  I would light up a match, start a fire, and then run.  There was a good chance that all three could get free.  With chances come fun, and well, fun is just me.

I searched through my pockets, no matched found I.  I don’t own a lighter.  I was ready to cry.  I was about to give up and leave them to their fight.  When I heard, from behind, someone say, “Need a light?”

Oh Crap!

I turned around slowly and there all three stood.  They had untied the girlfriend.  This did not look good.  They were not at all gentle.  They tied me up tight.  I was stuck on the pole when Jorick lit the light.  With the flames and the smoke I would soon meet my end.  I said, “Why Jorick, why?  I thought I was your friend?  Those guys kill our kind.  They are not on your side.”

“I have secret.  To you, I’ll confide.  If I helped end your terror, they’ll leave me alone.  You made a good patsy, but we all must go.  For a maniac genius, you really are slow.”

Everyone left.  I supposedly died.  No one but Jorick knows we both lied.  Jorick gave me a knot that he knew I’d undo.  The Surge left him alone and left me alone too.  I’d better lay low for a few days or so, but you know I’ll be back.  I have no place to go.  I’m writing a book, because I have the urge to tell everyone about how we tricked the Scourge.  Jorick will get the fame he’s always feared.  He’ll be in a book, now won’t that be weird.

You can see his original posting here

And, though there’s no vampires, you should still check out the TTTC site: http://TerribleTurtles.com

November Newsletter

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Hope your Halloween season was a great one! Yeah, Halloween is one of my favorite holidays, and I’m not quite ready to let it go, yet. But, alas, it is November already, so let’s get on with this newsletter!

Legacy of Ghosts, the second installment in the Amaranthine series, is finally available for purchase! You can pick up your digital copy at Smashwords or Amazon Kindle, or grab a paper back. If you’re interested in an autographed copy then drop me a line at Joleene@JoleeneNaylor.com.

Legacy of Ghosts cover - fixed

After the events of Shades of Gray, Katelina seeks peace with Jorick, but it’s hard to come by in a world shrouded in secrets and threatened by a brewing storm. Though Kateesha plans to fight the same battle as Jorick’s fledgling, a common enemy isn’t enough to overcome past betrayals, and the tempest explodes into a violent frenzy. Drawn into a deathly conflict, Jorick and Katelina must learn to overcome old regrets, or risk losing their future to the ghosts of their past.

Legacy of Ghosts, the second installment of the Amaranthine series, plunges back into a world of blood and cruelty where the darkness holds dominion and vampires don’t sparkle.

You can read sample chapters at https://joleenenaylor.wordpress.com/ in either whole chapter format or in tiny, blog sized nuggets. Yeah, I’m all about choice.

And why should DVD’s have all the fun? Check out “The Lost Chapters” – aka the “deleted” scenes from Legacy of Ghosts. i will be posting on a week for six weeks on both my Myspace and Author blogs, so stop by and enjoy a snippet of pointless vampire fun!

Now, let’s get on to the

Random Fun

The Interesting link: How Much is Inside? An old favorite of mine; How much is Inside asks the tough questions, like, how many cups of beer are in a keg? Can you really cover a car with one roll of aluminum foil? How many feet of Ramen are in a cup of Ramen noodles? Are there really 360 threads per inch in 360 thread count cotton pillow cases? or How large a puddle of blood would be created if a person bled to death in a parking lot? Among others. so, if you want to know how much is inside, then give this site a visit.

The Lots-O-Fun link: I will draw You As A Stick Man Amazing site that draws you as a stick man! Upload the picture of your choice and then wait a few moments while the masterpiece is created. You can share the image with friends, and also view a celebrity stick man gallery. (If you feel unfulfilled by this, then check out http://www.optuswhalesong.com.au/ where you can compose a song of whale noises using your keyboard. A fun time waster!)

The Read of the month: Songs of the Dead by Dawn Colclasure Songs of the Dead is a re-release of the chapbook originally published in 2003 and, with more than twenty-seven new poems, it has more than earned the title “expanded”. From poems of death and surrender, to fury and revenge, this is a poetry book to enjoy in the darkest of moods and one that anyone who’s ever “been there” will instantly empathize with.

The Music of the month: Noise Trade.com A website devoted to connecting listeners to new talent, Noise Trade offers music for free with the option to “tip” the artists. You can also enter your email address to get a free 25 song sampler in a zip file. They’ll send you an email with a download code, but when I went back the code was automatically entered.

The Video of the month: The Ornithologist Song by Jonathan Harvey. This song gets stuck in my head every time I thin of it, so it’s time I shared. A cute song about… well, ornithologists and ducks with an intro that gives a miniature lesson on how to “speak southern”.

(if you have suggestions for the links of the month please email them to me at joleene@joleenenaylor.com – you will be credited by whatever name you choose.)

My Updates

WANTED

I am currently looking for some Affiliates to trade links with. If you have a website and would be interested please let me know!

Looking for Reader Reviews! Have you read the book? Did you like it? Did you hate it? Well write a blurb and let the world know what you think! Please send all reviews to joleene@joleenenaylor.com and I’ll post them on the site!

The Terrible Turtle Conspiracy:

The Terrible Turtle Conspiracy is a weekly manga/comic written by Jonathan Harvey and illustrated by Joleene Naylor that tells the story of the giant turtle attack in Tuttlesville and the interconnected aftermath.

OF NOTE: We are working on a new website which will eventually be at terribleturtles.com We will keep you updated.

In October we continued Chapter 5: Missing, in which Harold’s friend Rich hires a detective to find his missing friends, but the investigation gets weirder by the minute…
Read Chapter Five!

Check out the Table of Contents for past chapters

Can’t access MySpace, but you want to get in on the Turtle Action? You can read the comics on Blogspot as well – both Chapter Five. So, if MySpace won’t work for you, then check it out there!

Website Updates

I am happy to announce that the new version of the Ramblings from the Darkness website is up at www.JoleeneNaylor.com Whoo-hoo! I think this one is easier to navigate, and I welcome all feedback! Besides just redoing the site, I have also added some new things this month.

The Legacy of ghosts section is teaming with character bios and free samples, as well as all the links and info. Why not stop by, or be the first to write a review?

I added a flash fiction story to the Flash fiction section called Blessed Silence. when a woman has enough of her husbands snoring, she takes matters into her own hands. I also updated the flash fiction story Secrets into it’s newest version and changed the title to Just Another Secret.

The saw the addition of seven new covers including some thrillers, a romance and a how to dieting book.

I’ve also added 11 new photos. Here’s a sneak peek at a couple of them:

tell me you can't imagine a little gnome hiding under that

autumn daisies 2

Flickr Updates

In the last month I added the following albums to my Flickr account. All of my photography is licensed under Creative Commons license unless otherwise noted. You do not need a Flickr account to view these. Clicking on the links will take you to a photo album with thumbnails.

Remnants
58 photos of old foundation slabs, abandoned tires, burned wood and more

Late Autumn
55 photos including pretty autumn leaves, grapes, the last daisies and more.

Autumn Toadstools
24 photos including toadstools and hay.

October Food
13 photos of apples, celery soup, squash rings, roast beef and more.

Random October
27 photos of chocolates, pumpkin carving and Target fun.

Peaches ‘n Cream, Barbie
10 photos of my new reproduction Barbie.

Blog Updates:

AMARANTHINE NIGHT (AUTHOR BLOG)

Release Delay
A week delay in the book release.

Forsaken on YouTube, Or Proof People Have Too Much Time
Some fun versions of the song “Forsaken” as performed by Disturbed.

Legacy of Ghosts: Chapter 3 Part 1
Sample of the new book – in bite sized pieces….

Legacy of Ghosts: Chapter 3 Part 2
Sample of the new book – in bite sized pieces….

Legacy of Ghosts: Chapter 3 Part 3
Sample of the new book – in bite sized pieces….

Legacy of Ghosts: Chapter 3 Part 4
Sample of the new book – in bite sized pieces….

Legacy of Ghosts Available on Smashwords
Link to buy the eBook version of Legacy of Ghosts

Legacy of Ghosts – Chapter 3: Part 5
Sample of the new book – in bite sized pieces….

Legacy of Ghosts:Amazon Kindle and Paper Back
The new book is available through Amazon Kindle and Paper Back

Legacy of Ghosts – Chapter 3: Part 6
Sample of the new book – in bite sized pieces….

Legacy of Ghosts – Chapter 3: Part 7
Sample of the new book – in bite sized pieces….

Winners of the Legacy of Ghosts Contest
Congrats to the winners of the contest! I promise, you will get your books…

October Newsletter
The October Ramblings from the Darkness Newsletter

Dark Shadows Remake
Tim Burton and Johnny Depp will tackle the classic vampire soap, Dark Shadows…

Vampire Parodies
Twilight vs Blade and Not and Emo Vampire; some great YouTube gems.

Jonathan and His Inner Zombie Converse
And inspire an internal dialog of my own.

The New Website is Up!
The official announcement – whoo-hoo!

Vampire Poetry
Two vampire poems to tickle your fancy…

Special Sale and Fun Videos
Just in time for the Holidays you can now get the first book, Shades of Gray, at a 32% savings! Also enjoy some funny youtube vampire videos.

Bite Me
An excellent online comic that I discovered during a Google search

The Lost Chapters
Why should DVD’s have all the fun? Enjoy the “deleted scenes” from Legacy of Ghosts!

The Lost Chapters 1: Sparkling Jorick
Jorick makes a random confession about his reading habits

You Asked For It
Well, one person did, so I delivered…

Songs of the Dead
Review of the new poetry book by Dawn Colclasure

BLOGSPOT (WRITING, ART AND PHOTOGRAPHY)

Terrible Turtle Conspiracy: Chapter Five
The fifth chapter of the online comic by myself and Jonathan Harvey

Legacy of Ghosts on Smashwords
The new book is now available as an eBook.

Legacy of Ghosts on Amazon Kindle and Paper Back
The new book is available as paper back or on the Amazon Kindle

Legacy of Ghosts Contest Winners
Congratulations to the winners of the Legacy of Ghosts Contest!

October Newsletter
The October Newsletter

The Attic Treasure
Short story about a brother and sister who find a mysterious quill in the attic.

Jonathan and His INner Zombie Converse
And inspire some internal dialog, Jo style.

Explaining Google Caching
An explanation of the way Google Caching of web pages works.

Website is Up
The official announcement for the new website.

Randomness with Photos
Come shopping with me as I look at Halloween stuff.

Junior Warlord of Maple Drive
Peter tries to get even with his neighbor, Mr. Langstrom.

Midnight Proposal
A zombie poem

MYSPACE (PERSONAL BLOG)

Writers Have Feelings Too
Though we hide them behind “professional”, writers are quite volatile

Legacy of Ghosts Available on SMashwords
The new book as an eBook

Legacy of Ghosts: Paper back and Amazon Kindle
The new book is here! Yay!

Winners in the Legacy of Ghosts Contest
Congrats to the winners!.

Attic Treasure
A brother and sister find a mysterious quill in the attic

Google Cache, A public Service Announcement
Explaining to the masses how Google Caching of web sites works.

The Day After MySpace
Why imitate when you can stand out?

Murder is Our Agenda
A Halloween Collab with Clarice

Vampire Poetry
It’s Zombie vs Vampires at the CPC and I have some cool vampire poems.

Randomness with Photos
Come halloween shopping with me and enjoy the best hotdog in Missouri!

The Junior Warlock of Maple Leaf Drive
Pete tries to get even with his neighbor, Mr. Langstrom.

Looking Back and Forward
Discussing what direction to take the blog in.

Songs of the Dead Review
Review of the poetry book by Dawn Colclasure.

COMING NEXT MONTH:

Projects I hope to finish in November are

Legacy of Ghosts Trailer
Update all my profiles
book covers for other people
The new TTTC website
The special Bonus comic for the super secret TTTC Publishing Project
I wouldn’t mind finishing up some other misc artwork, but we’ll see about that

If you have ideas or suggestions on what could make this newsletter better, or just want to give me your opinion on something, drop me a line at Joleene@joleenenaylor.com.

If you would like to unsubscribe from this mailing, please send a mail to Joleene@joleenenaylor.com with the subject UNSUBSCRIBE.

Have a great month and a Happy Thanksgiving!

Jo 😀

Vampire Poetry

I usually keep the poems on my other blogs, but this was on topic, so….. 😉

Tonight and tomorrow at the Creative Poetry Corral I am hosting Zombies vs Vampires – a night of undead poetry fun:

I'm surrounded by zombies there, so if you're on MySpace then come and help team Vampire out! (click the banner)

Here are two of the poems I’ve posted on the site:

Walk With Me

 

Darkness wraps itself around you

Makes your fears and nightmares come true

In the shadows, can you feel me?

Creeping closer ‘til you can see

So you stand amazed

You can not believe

I slowly smile

And you fall down on your knees

In my casket lay

All our hopes and dreams

Now resurrected

Why is it that you scream?

Drowning in your own confusion

Your questions rising in profusion

All the prayers you cried have come true

From the grave returned to find you

And your tears they fall

Landing on the floor

Your trembling fingers

Reaching for my face once more

Whispered words of praise

Slip softly from your lips

All your desire

Burning in your unspoken kiss

Against the night I’ll raise my voice

At your feet I lay this choice

The world of death beyond this portal

Will you dance with an immortal?

Lie in your grave with me

You can’t look away

I’ll taste you’re life

Save you from life’s slow decay

Intertwined we’ll be

For eternity

Just take my hand

And walk into the night with me

*******************

Haunting Obsession

Darkness black as sinner’s tomb,

Cobwebbed shadows ‘mongst the stones

Eyes of liquid night gazed gently

On her prone and pale form

Hair as black as demon’s dreams

Shaded the features of his face

His hand reached through the shimmering darkness

To trace the gentle gown of lace

His lips drew back from silver fangs

Etched sharp beneath the moon’s pale light

And leaning towards her slender throat,

He gently took away her life

Her blood was sweet as summer honey

Warm pleasure flowing o’re his tongue

Her memories slipped through his mind

Her fragile life so soon undone

Drained dry he dropped her to the bed

Her body but an empty shell

Lifeless, staring at the ceiling

While through his veins burned living hell

Her face had haunted all his dreams

Obsession gnawing at his bones

His heart ached with the need of her

To take her for his very own

And to this end was one recourse

One way to ease this hated fervor

To kill the very thing he loved

To rid himself of her forever

But in his dreams she dances still

A shimmering ghost dressed all in white

Laughing as she calls his name

And beckons him to pale moonlight

Burned by the memory of her touch

As his soul slowly dies

Recalling how she looked in death

His soul as empty as her eyes

********************************

(copyright Jo Naylor)

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Darkness wraps itself around you

Makes your fears and nightmares come true

In the shadows, can you feel me?

Creeping closer ‘til you can see

So you stand amazed

You can not believe

I slowly smile

And you fall down on your knees

In my casket lay

All our hopes and dreams

Now resurrected

Why is it that you scream?

Drowning in your own confusion

Your questions rising in profusion

All the prayers you cried have come true

From the grave returned to find you

And your tears they fall

Landing on the floor

Your trembling fingers

Reaching for my face once more

Whispered words of praise

Slip softly from your lips

All your desire

Burning in your unspoken kiss

Against the night I’ll raise my voice

At your feet I lay this choice

The world of death beyond this portal

Will you dance with an immortal?

Lie in your grave with me

You can’t look away

I’ll taste you’re life

Save you from life’s slow decay

Intertwined we’ll be

For eternity

Just take my hand

And walk into the night with me

Legacy of Ghosts Contest!

With the upcoming release of Legacy of Ghosts, book 2 in the Amaranthine series,  it’s time for a contest!

The Prizes:

Two winners, chosen by random drawing, will each win an autographed, paperback copy of Legacy of Ghosts.  One winner,  chosen by random drawing from the bonus contest entries, will receive, the Amaranthine pack: an autographed paperback copy of Shades of Gray and an autographed, paperback copy of Legacy of Ghosts.

The Technical Details:

The contest starts Friday, September 24th, 2010, and lasts until October 8th, 2010 at 11:59 pm.

You can answer all eight questions (If applicable – you’ll see what I mean) and there is no limit to the number of times you can enter the bonus contest.

Please include your name and email address with each entry.  If you prefer not to share your email address publicly, then please note so in the comment, and send the address to Joleene@JoleeneNaylor.com

To make it easier for me to count the entries, please answer only one question per comment.

Bonus contest entries can be emailed to Joleene@JoleeneNaylor.com OR you can post links in the comments below.  It may take up to 24 hours for me to comment or mail you back with confirmation, so don’t panic. If you send an email and don’t hear from me in 48 hours, please email again, as cyberspace has probably eaten it.

Yes, the more entries you have, the greater your chance of winning, as the winning names will be drawn from a hat (or a bowl, or something like that). Yeah, I could use Random.org, but where’s the fun in that?

The official drawing will be filmed and uploaded to YouTube, then posted on this blog, my MySpace and Blogger blogs on October 10th, 2010. Winners will be notified at the email address they provided, no later than the 12th of October, 2010, and will need to then send me a mailing address. I will send a second email to the winners when the prizes have been mailed.

The Contest:

Answer one (or more) of the following questions in a comment. Please, only one answer per comment, and leave your name and email address. If you prefer not to share your email address publicly, then please note so in the comment, and send the address to Joleene@JoleeneNaylor.com

1. If Shades of Gray was made into a movie, who would you choose to star in it?

2. If you could pick one character  from the Amaranthine series to hang out with who would it be?

3. If you could pick one character to “kill off” in Legacy of Ghosts, who would it be?

4.  If you haven’t read Shades of Gray, why not? If it was a free eBook, would you?

5. The great debate: Which do you prefer, paperback books, or books that you can read on a device (Kindle/Nook/etc) or books you can read on the computer (PDF/etc)?

6.  If given the chance to become a vampire, would you? Why or why not?

7. Who’s cooler? Vampires, Werewolves, Zombies, or Bat Boy?

8. If you see a free, or cheap,  eBook do you think “Cool! Cheap!” or do you think, “That must not be any good if it’s free!”?

Bonus Contest:

To enter the bonus contest, all you have to do is pimp out the contest, the book, the blog, or the website. This includes posting a banner on your website, MySpace profiles or blogs, forum signatures, etc, or making forum posts, twitter posts, facebook links, blogging, or painting the url on a t-shirt and wearing it the grocery store (okay, I don’t think that one’s going to catch on!) or anything else you can think of. You can even use the handy “Share” buttons on the bottom of this blog (You still need to let me know you’ve done it, though!)

If you’d like, you can find tags, banners and “animated bites” on the Help Spread the Word page.

But wait. What if you’ve done some pimping in the past, or you already have a Shades of Gray banner posted? Well, it counts! That’s right, it doesn’t matter if it was a week ago, or a year ago, it can count as an entry!

To enter the bonus contest, just send me a link or a screen capture of the “pimp”.

Links can be mailed to Joleene@JoleeneNaylor.com or posted in a comment below. Each unique link is worth one entry, and you can include as many links per mail/comment as you want.

Screen Capture images should be sent to Joleene@JoleeneNaylor.com, either inline or as an attachment.

To make a screen capture:

1. open the page in your browser.

2. on your keyboard press the Print Screen button. It may be abbreviated as Prt Sc, Prnt Scr, etc. Or you may need to hold the function key at the same time (My laptop is this way).

3. open an image editing program (Paintbrush will work) and choose Paste or Paste as New Image from the edit menu.

4. go to File > Save, and save your image. A JPG is best, but any image type will work.

If you have any questions, please leave them in the comments, or mail me, and I will do my best to answer them.

I’m looking forward to your entries!

How to Win an Autographed Book!

Do you have a MySpace account? Can you string words together? If so, then you could win an autographed copy of Shades of Gray!

The Creative Poetry Corral is holding it’s third annual Profile Art Poetry Contest – this year featuring the artwork of Sharronlee – and first prize in each category is a signed copy of Shades of Gray!

To enter, please read the rules here, and send a friend request to the CPC and the CPC backup page (be sure to say “I’m entering the contest” with your request).  Entries will be accepted August 9th through the 13th, and contestants can enter twice; one pic n poem and one poem with pic in different categories. There are many more specifics in the official rules, so be sure toread them!

Don’t have a MySpace profile? You can make one in under a minute by going to MySpace.com.

So, what are you waiting for? Go take a look, and hope to see you there!

  • Tales of the Executioners

    Short stories from the world of Amaranthine; a universe of blood and darkness where vampires don't sparkle and night is eternal. Each is about a member of the Executioners squad; the special vampire "police" force. Members both past and present share stories of assignments, origins, and more.

    Dark, light, love, laughter, death...you never know what you'll find in the shadows.

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    Joleene Naylor's books on Goodreads
    Shades of Gray Shades of Gray (Amaranthine, #1)
    reviews: 13
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    Joleene Naylor

    An independent author, freelance artist, and photographer for fun who loves anime, music, and writing. Check out my vampire series Amaranthine at http://JoleeneNaylor.com or drop me a line at Joleene@JoleeneNaylor.com

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