Is Nicolas Cage a Vampire?

from http://www.factasy.com/civil_war/ blogs/webmaster_ann/nicolas_cage_ vampire_civil_war_era

Is Nicolas Cage a vampire? Let’s look at the compelling (or not so compelling) evidence.

In September, antique dealer Jack Mord listed a photo that was taken circa 1870 on ebay with the claim that it was a man from Bristol, Tennessee who, of course, is really Nicolas Cage. Since this would make the actor at least 170 years old, that must mean he is a vampire.

In posts that have since been removed, Mr. Mord allegedly said that he believed Nicolas Cage to be a member of the undead, who reinvents himself every so many years in an effort to hide his true identity.

When asked why, if Cage is a vampire, he’s let himself age so badly, Mord answered “My theory is that he allows himself to age to a certain point, maybe 70, 80 or so, then the actor ‘Nicolas Cage’ will ‘die’… but in reality, the undead vampire ‘Nicolas Cage’ will have rejuvenated himself and appeared in some other part of the world, young again, and ready to start all over. From time to time somebody might mention to him that he bears a slight resemblance to the young version that dead American actor, whose name they can’t recall, but eventually, those occurrences will stop altogether.”

Though the photo, priced at $1 million came with the guarantee that the buyer could have an expert of their choice identify the photograph, the listing is long gone. What a shame.

However, if photos are to be believed, that was not Nicolas cage’s first incarnation. Internet evidence clearly shows that Plato, the classical Greek philosopher, was really the vampire we know today as Nicolas Cage. Don’t believe me? Check the link:

http://niccageaseveryone.blogspot.com/2011/09/nic-cage-as-plato.html

So, there we have it. Despite my initial skepticism, I have proved that he IS a vampire.

Hm. If they all look like that, I’m suddenly rethinking my interest in them.

(The plato image is from a website called Nicolas Cage as Everything that posts manips of Nicolas Cage. Strange, scary and entertaining all at once!)

PS – No, I do not really believe he is a vampire. A robot, maybe, but not a vampire.