It’s time again for Six Sentence Sunday, the weekly blog event where participants post six sentences of something they’ve written, whether published, a work in progress, or something they may never finish.
This week’s six sentences come from Ashton, a short story that will shortly be on Smashwords as the fourth in the Vampire Morsel’s Collection
The screen door banged open and closed, and feet shuffled through the house. Ashton peered around the others curiously as someone whimpered; a soft, high sound, and then two of the guys appeared through the doorway, lugging a fourteen year old girl between them. Her hair was strawberry red and hung around her face like it had just fallen out of a ponytail. Her clothes were rumpled and dirt stained, and she had only one shoe. Tears and dirt streaked her face, and traces of blood were smeared under her nose. It would have been bad enough if Ashton hadn’t known who she was, but knowing made it worse.
Thanks for stopping by and be sure to check out the other participants!
Amaranthine by Joleene Naylor 
Lindsay
/ May 1, 2011Fantastic six and leaves me wanting to know who the girl is?
Joleene Naylor
/ May 1, 2011Thanks, Lindsay 🙂 I need to get that one finished and uploaded soon, LOL!
Lindsay
/ May 1, 2011Tell me about it. I’ve got my full out for final edits before I do my last read through the upload it. Looks like May’s going to be busy for us both.
Cate Masters
/ May 1, 2011Great description – could see this very clearly. I wonder who the girl is?
Joleene Naylor
/ May 3, 2011Thanks, Cate! I should probably pick a scene one of these days and do it straight through….
sassyspeaks
/ May 1, 2011and I forgot who the girl is 😀 guess I have to review
Joleene Naylor
/ May 3, 2011I should be sending it to you any day now :p
Taryn Kincaid
/ May 1, 2011Yep. Can definitely see how knowing the girl might make things worse!
Joleene Naylor
/ May 3, 2011Yeah, me too!
Carolyn Rosewood
/ May 1, 2011Great snippet!
Joleene Naylor
/ May 3, 2011Thanks, Carolyn.
Lee Ann Sontheimer Murphy
/ May 1, 2011Totally intriguing and left me wanting to know much more!
Joleene Naylor
/ May 3, 2011Thanks, Lee Ann 🙂
Sarah Grimm
/ May 1, 2011Powerful six! Now I want to know who the girl is. AND what happens next!
Joleene Naylor
/ May 3, 2011hee-hee, nothing good 😉
jayel kaye
/ May 1, 2011wonderful description. I want to know who she is and what happened.
Joleene Naylor
/ May 3, 2011Bad things… well, for her, and him I guess.
Rebecca Royce
/ May 1, 2011I want to read more right now.
Joleene Naylor
/ May 3, 2011Thanks, Rebecca. I need to get off my bum and get it done :p
Susanna Fraser
/ May 1, 2011Powerful six with a great hook.
Joleene Naylor
/ May 3, 2011Thanks, Susanna 🙂
Ada Hoffmann
/ May 1, 2011Oh no! And who is she? Definitely makes me want more.
Joleene Naylor
/ May 3, 2011Thanks, Ada 🙂
charmainegordon
/ May 1, 2011Good six; descriptions tell everything.
Joleene Naylor
/ May 3, 2011Thanks, Charamine
Sandy Nachlinger
/ May 1, 2011Great description. Scary.
Joleene Naylor
/ May 3, 2011Thanks, Sandy 😀
Ruth Ann Nordin
/ May 1, 2011I remember this one. And what an ending! I cringe just thinking about it. *shivers*
Joleene Naylor
/ May 3, 2011This is one of my favorites 🙂 But then it’s got a Lost Boys tone, I think :p
Allure Van Sanz
/ May 1, 2011uh oh. Love the conflict here.
Well done.
Best,
Allure Van Sanz
Joleene Naylor
/ May 3, 2011Thanks!
Jonathan
/ May 15, 2011The knowing can make things bad. I can feel this because I know a lot of stuff.
Joleene Naylor
/ May 17, 2011Yeah, I know lot’s of stuff, too. Like what is going to be in your next parcel :p No one knows when I will get unlazy enough to mail it, though!